Sunday School
Student ministries
August 4, 1999 Philemon
Has anyone ever hurt you, and your feelings? Has anyone ever stepped on your toes, and kept right on walking? I'm sure that we all can answer yes to these questions. We all have been hurt, and many have been hurt badly.
When that person hurt you, how did you respond? How did you react to having your toes smashed? There are three possible reactions to being hurt. 1. Boil, to hurt them back immediately. 2. Simmer, to wait awhile to get your revenge. 3. Chill, to forgive them and move on.
Our text for this morning, Philemon, contains an important lesson for us on the gift of forgiveness. Please turn to Philemon with me. Because Philemon is a personal letter about forgiveness, it has all of the components of a personal letter. It has a salutation, a body, and a conclusion. Please join me in reading the salutation. Read vs.1-7.
I. Salutation vs.1-7
This letter begins much like all letters. It is from Paul and is addressed to Philemon, whom Paul affectionately calls a beloved friend and fellow laborer. The letter is also addressed to Apphia, Archippus, and their entire house church. It is interesting how Paul brings others into the mix here. Apphia and Archippus are believed to be Philemon's wife and son. Paul also gets all of the people who attended their house church involved in the letter. We will later see why Paul brings so many people into a personal letter about forgiveness.
Paul continues and discusses how he has been praying for Philemon. Paul prayed that because Philemon had been so loving toward the Lord and all the saints. In fact, Paul says in vs.7 that the hearts of the saints had been refreshed by Philemon. Paul is praising Philemon here for his ministry and how effective it was. Philemon was a loving minister of the grace of Jesus Christ. With that in mind, Paul gets to the point of this personal letter. Read vs.8-12, 17 with me.
II. The Body (the plea) vs.8-12, 17
The body of this letter can be broken down into two parts, the plea and the relationship.
Paul's word to Philemon about forgiveness was a plea, not a command. The reason for this is that forgiveness must be a choice, a gift that you give to the person that has hurt you. The forgiveness that Jesus Christ offers to sinners is based upon His choice to overlook sin and go willingly to the cross. Forgiveness cannot be commanded, but it must be a personal choice, and that is why Paul pleaded with Philemon instead of commanding him. Paul could have commanded him to forgive. Paul reminds us he had that authority in vs.9b. So Paul appeals to Philemon, but for whom? Who is Paul appealing to him for? Vs.10-11.
Onesimus! Onesimus? Onesimus! The name Onesimus ran across Philemon's tongue like a burning acid. When Philemon read that name, his temperature skyrocketed. Onesimus! That worthless bum. That waste of space and air. That's right Paul, he is unprofitable, Philemon must have thought as he read the first part of vs.11. But Paul changes gears for the second half of the verse. Profitable, to me? Profitable to you? Oh brother Paul, have you flipped your lid?
Conclusion: Action steps to help you forgive others.
1. Ask yourself, "How does God see this person?" The answer is through the blood of Jesus Christ, if they're saved.
2. Then ask yourself, "How should I see this person?" Just like God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, if they're saved.
3. Once you are able to see them through the blood of Christ, you are ready to approach the person that has hurt you. Approach them and express the hurt that you feel. However, you should avoid using this opportunity to hurt them. Remember you are coming to them to forgive them, not to start a fight. Express your hurt and tell them that because of Jesus' love for you and them, you are choosing to forgive them. Don't expect them to apologize or give you hugs and roses. They may not even accept your forgiveness or admit their fault. Remember, Jesus died for you and me long before we ever admitted our sin or asked for His forgiveness.
4. If you are not able to express your forgiveness to someone because of death, distance, or some other circumstance, you still need to forgive. One way to help you express your forgiveness is to take two chairs and face them toward each other. Sit in one of the chairs and picture the person that hurt you in the other chair. Tell them about your hurt and that you are forgiving them because of God's love and forgiveness that you have received. Speak as if they were actually there.
5. The final most empowering thought about this subject of forgiveness is to remember that on our own we are not able to forgive anybody, especially if the wounds are deep and the hurt is strong. We are only able to forgive as we open our hearts to Jesus and receive His forgiveness. We then must allow that forgiveness to flow to those who have hurt us. Only then will we be able to forgive and forget.
May God bless you with restoration and healing as you obey and follow Him.